Trust her, she’s a doctor…

-This was obviously written a while ago-

So our second year fellow swung by the lab today to pick up some primate specimens from the -80 freezer. I don’t have time now that I’m leaving to help her search for samples, so I pointed her in the right direction and left her to look while I went back to my computer for a bit. I went to check on her 10 minutes later and find the -80 freezer door open and the freezer alarming. I’m sure from her perspective it looked like I was a little off my rocker because I immediately started pointing and telling her to close the freezer! Quick! Now! I told her it was really important to keep the freezer closed because it’s remotely monitored and she would have facilities management jumping down her throat about a broken freezer in minutes.

“Well you should have told me I needed to shut the door”

Excuse me? It didn’t occur to you that if you leave the freezer door open the freezer might warm up? For real? And frankly this interaction makes me even more irritated by my bosses comment that she feels like she’s involved in nursery school research.

We’re just the meat on the chalkboard

My chinese coworker upon returning from the pharmacy:

CCW: “They raise our copay again. It was $48 , now it’s $56”
SSFB: “They’ll never stop”
CCW: “so they raise our copay and the insurance costs more too?”
SSFB: “But what can you do?”
CCW: “You’re right. We are just the meat on the chalkboard”

…*blinks*

So looking back I assume he meant CHOP-board… but he definately said chalkboard.

Damn Kashi Company

I’m still trying to add fiber to my diet, since the grape nuts were such a let down. We got a box of this ceral, the honey almond version. It tastes SO good, like, really good… but feels SO BAD, painfully bad. So remember when those WOW chips came out and there was all this hubub about anal leakage? How come there doesn’t have to be a warning on the Kashi box “May cause severe intestinal cramping”?!…

When I got home last night and was getting my welcome home hug from Hubbin’ I said:

SSFB: “ooo, owwww, don’t do that I have a huge bubble in my belly”
Hubbin’: *laughing* “Maybe I’ll just squeeze you and get it out”
SSFB: “No! it might perforate my colon… oooch… what is IN that cereal?! I need to remember not to eat so much fiber on a night I have class and have to sit still in a quiet room the whole night”
Hubbin’: “Maybe that’s why people who eat healthy work out so much, so they can fart it all out”

…so supposedly your body adjusts to stuff like that, but I don’t know if I can make it through a whole box at this rate! If it wasn’t supposed to be healthy I would totally give up on the fiber campaign it’s far too painful. I quit drinking milk because of some of the exact same symptoms!

Doing Dishes in the Fresh House

All occurring tonight while making dinner in our kitchen:

Hubbin’: *singing* Ridin’ dirty, I’m ridin’ dirty….. What does that mean anyway?
SSFB: I don’t know, I’m not from the ghetto.
Hubbin’: Me neither
SSFB: I just kind of operate under the assumption that I’m not riding dirty.

….a few moments later…

I was riping a piece of that “press and seal” saran wrap and needed to carry it with my hands full to the counter. Like any reasonable human being I pressed and sealed it to my chest for easy transport:

SSFB: Look, I press and sealed my boobs
Hubbin’: Excellent!
SSFB: Hmm, I’m less than impressed with it’s press-and-seal-ability on this bowl.
Hubbin’: Well you could always just use it as around the house attire if your not impressed with it’s press-and-seal capabilities.

Our 15 Minutes

Today is our building addition grand opening, ribbon cutting, special lunch, etc. News crews and cameras roaming the building.

SSFB and her Chinese Co-Worker:

CCW: “I will take my timer with me to lunch”
SSFB: “That will make you look like a very official researcher”
CCW: “Ahh! Yes! Is great! Working while eating, eating while working”
SSFB: “That’s what research is all about! I’m looking at the news website and I don’t see anything about the opening yet. There’s no streaming live video of you putting your samples in the centrifuge yet”
CCW: “Haha, well maybe my small part it is deleted”

Hopefully they also deleted the part when the camera man came into the lab and I had my butt sticking way up in the air putting boxes under the bench.

A Big Job

We were in gamestop where all the nerdy teenage boys (ahem, and a few men) like to hang out…

SSFB [whispering]: “Egh, it smells like someone needs a shower and some deodorant”
Hubbin: “More like sterilized… I think that’s asking an awful lot of soap and water”

Time to find a hobby

Male Student Buddy 1: “So help me if I see ONE MORE 70 year old man come into the ER for heart trouble after taking Viagra…”
Male Student 2: “What? You think you’ll be ready to give that up by the time you’re 70?”
Male Student Buddy 1: “HELL YES! It’s time to get a new hobby! Travel, make your own wine… Nobody wants that in them anymore”
SSFB: “And no one wants to see naked old man ass either”
Male Student Buddy 1: “No kidding! I barely want to see myself naked now! Definately not when I’m in my 70s”

No Litter Envy Here

While watching John and Kate plus 8 on TLC…

Hubbin’ : “Aghhh! Why are you watching this!”
SSFB: “Because it’s fascinating!”
Hubbin’: “You’re allowed to have baby envy, but you’re not allowed to have litter envy!”

I can’t help it, I’m just fascinated by the sheer logistics of a family like this…

Sopranos

SSFB: “I’m so glad I didn’t marry a fat Italian guy… aren’t you?”
Hubbin’: “I don’t think that’s legal…”

Good help is so hard to find…

I can’t even repeat what came out of my mouth this morning…. A brief recap

4/27: I was told to temporarily evacuate my desk so they could board
up my window on Monday 4/30

WEEK 1
4/30: In my absence my coworker was told it would take 1 week to finish the window
5/1: Plaster man spotted working on the window for 10 minutes
5/2: Plaster man spotted adding additional plaster for 5 minutes
5/3: No plaster man
5/4: No plaster man. Email sent to building manager asking when window
would be complete. Reply “It should only have taken 1 week”, someone more important than myself was CCd in the reply.

WEEK 2
5/7: Plaster man adds additional 7 minute coat of plaster,
conversation as follows:

SSFB: “Do you know when you’ll be done with the window?”
PM: “oh I’ll only be here 5 more minutes”
SSFB: “No I mean, when will you be finished”
PM: “I have to add another coat tomorrow but I’ll be finished before you
even get here”
SSFB: “Ok, but when will it be DONE, like when can I move back to my desk”
PM: “oh… well I’ll have one more day, then they need to paint, so
probably Thursday”

Total desk displacement: 2 weeks
Total worktime on window: 90 minutes
(and that’s a generous estimate)