Newborn Fix







Kills me

The fat little fingers grabbing onto me while she sleep? Kills me.




Typing one handed on my phone, because she’s here. Just a shade earlier than her due date and totally perfect.

Therapeutically speaking, I’ll def need to type up her birth story. But it will be long. It was fairly awful, not in hours or anything straightforward like that but the super short version is: they jacked up my epidural with a wet tap and I also somehow injured my shoulder (cause I was playing basketball during labor???) and we very narrowly escaped at minimum an emergency section or at worst total disaster because of the oopsie-d epidural. My back and shoulder are still not 100% but are slowly improving. I had an awful spinal headache and a bloodpatch. The bloodpatch was horrifically painful AND didn’t fix my headache. I wasn’t able to stand long enough to take a real shower for two weeks. A hot mess in other words. I only started driving in the last week and she’s a little over a month old.

I’m looking forward to finally being able to say “alls well that ends well” but we’re still not quite there yet.

She’s super exhausting but also pretty awesome. A serious appetite. Because of all the delivery complications and also because she spent days more in the hospital without me due to jaundice we’re also struggling with breast feeding. In that I’m pretty much exclusively pumping and trying to talk her into actually nursing. On more than one occasion that’s ended with both of us crying. So I’m sure ill be typing more about that as well in the coming time.



I recently finished the sweater I started for her before we knew it was a her. A fancy yarn store was going out of business so my mom and I went and scooped up some not nearly discounted enough fancy yarns to make baby things with. We tried to stick with gender neutral stuff since my ultrasound wasn’t for another month and I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out anyway. I took the materials with me and started the sweater on the plane ride down to Mexico and got ALMOST to dividing for sleeves when on the way home Mexican customs confiscated my needles before letting me board the plane. Pregnancy hormones plus hours of work lost plus having to very first thing you’ve made for your baby ruined by a stranger in the airport led to me crying uncontrollably in the Mexican airport.

I did however restart it, and finally finished it and sewed buttons on a few weeks ago. I also sewed buttons and weaved in ends on all the other little things I’ve been saving in my closet. But here is her going home outfit (I hope it fits):


The baby shower was great and I’m more than half done with my thank you notes. My parents are coming over today with two essential but not cute baby purchases (mattress and changing pad) so I think we might be as ready as well ever be.

Also this week they came by for our ‘orientation’ to the cloth diaper service. I signed us up for a 4 week trial and well see how it goes. I was very intimidated by the laundry aspect with both of us working full time plus a moderately insane grandmother in the house who fixates on things like laundry. After lots of reading it seems like if you don’t take care with how you wash the cloth diapers its easy to ruin them, since she’s ruined >20 of Hubbins dress shirts and sweaters by running them through the dryer we can safely say we can’t expect her to listen to washing instructions like special detergent, or line dry. …. Also the fact that I’m sure she’s going to want to “help” and won’t be able to safely do much with a newborn without supervision I suspected we would create a perfect storm. Anyway, much to my surprise I was able to find a diaper service that covers our address for $25/week…. Which doesn’t seem to bad to me? That includes all supplies along with laundering pick up and delivery. Plus better for the environment? So well see how it goes. I got cases of diapers at the baby shower so one way or another we will get by. (Good thing my cousin is still due in August so I’ve got a default disposable diaper hand off for anything the baby outgrows before we use it)


I think we’re ready. I hope were ready. The other excellent news is now that we’ve made it to the 9th not only is she full term but I’m taking 12 weeks leave and Hubbins last day of teaching for the year is less than 12 weeks away! So we should be fairly solid with child care until August! Wheeeee!

In less exciting news I have a cold and a low fever for the last two days (99.6) that’s two colds this winter! Geez, pregnancy really does sap your immune strength cause I think it’s been a few years since I’ve even gotten so much as a cold and I work in an ER!


5 weeks has never seemed so long and so short at the same time…

So long in that I’m ready to be done, there. I said it. My pelvis, hips and SI joints ache constantly, sometimes downright painful if I’ve been doing more walking that day. Not like for exercise, but I mean a trip to the grocery store, target, or Costco can leave me weepy. I did get an SI-band that rather than a maternity support belt which supports your belly and back is a less flexible strap that sits down over your pelvis/hip area. It helps. Minimally. But over the last week I get the distinct impression her head is now too far down in my belly and does not like being squished. The belt (which is very adjustable) can no longer be worn tight enough to help my bony pain without feeling like its putting way more than a comfortable amount of pressure on my belly. 12 hour shifts at work now promise to be awesome. Yes. Yes, I really care about your your cold now patient, do you believe me? My hips and pelvis now crack when I walk up stairs or flip over at night. So yes, I’m ready to be done. Not to mention all whining aside, what does she look like?! I can’t wait to hold her! I can’t wait to carry her around in the baby wearing equipment I got. I can’t wait to nibble her little feet, and cheeks, and bum! (And if you think I’m desperate to meet her you should see her father who is so used impulse shopping I’m pretty sure he’s never had to wait for 9 months for anything in his life! …. Ie: he’s the kind of person who buys you a Christmas present then wants to give it to you a week before Christmas because he’s so excited about it) this week also begins my weekly doctors appointment so it’s starting to seem more real. And this week Hubbin was, ahem, ill, so he could come with me and the doctor gave us instructions about when to go to the hospital *eeep!*

So short in that, um no. Technically I’m totally not ready for her. Somewhat in my defense my baby shower isn’t until next weekend so I’ve tried to totally quit buying things in the event someone may gift them to us. So, the furniture is all built. And all the clothes are washed and folded. But we don’t have a crib mattress, or sheets, or anything else. I did get a gigantic pack of wipes and diapers, so I guess that’s mostly what you need… And we do have a carseat, so they’d let us bring her home. I’ve had calling the diaper service on my to do list for weeks too. Maybe ill do that this week?

And um. No. We haven’t decided on a name either. *for shame*

Despite all the not readiness I still kind of hope she’s a bit early cause I’m just so desperate to meet her.

31w2d – que excitement

31 weeks seems like such a huge number! We’re getting pretty disgustingly excited.

On Christmas my family started a pool guessing what day she’ll arrive. Only one person guessed after my due date so, if I’m late I think I’ll have a hard time dealing with it since everyone is convinced she’ll be early.

A few weeks ago I made our baby registry. Which was fairly overwhelming. I left Hubbin at home because he thinks babies shouldn’t need anything and I knew if I took him with me I would leave the store with NOTHING on the registry.

A biiiiig package arrived today. Que my excitement!!! (I bought this, it was not a gift)




I put it together straight away (probably in less than 30 minutes with no special tools, I was surprised how easy it was) and I’m quite pleased. Excuse my pajamas in the last shot. And yes it was 2pm, don’t judge me.

We’re slowly gathering baby related equipment, my shower isn’t until the beginning of March so I’m trying to slow down with my desire to have *everything* *now*. Hubbin has finished building the dresser but that’s it. The wardrobe is still in boxes and I did finally order a crib. Which was somewhat scary for me…. I put it off for a long time.

The sensation of feeling like I need to get thing set up and ready is starting to creep in. Which is vying with my other emotions where I’m still hesitant on some things like “is it too early to buy a carseat at 30 weeks”. “Am I going to jinx myself”. I guess, crib and carseat are distinctly “big baby items” which might be why we started backwards with buying a dresser and a closet for her… ???

My baby shower will be the beginning of March everyone so far has said “wow that’s really cutting it close isn’t it?” Maybe I’m still a little nervous deep down?

Hubbin recently rented the odd life of Timothy green for us to watch this weekend. Which, I had NO IDEA what that movie was about. I cried like the whole first 30-45 minutes and the whole last 30 minutes. Hubbin thought it was ultimately a happy movie… It just brought up so many emotions. Thank god I didn’t go see that in the movie theaters. I was so relieved that I could feel her wiggling during the movie. And then I had all kinds of guilt emotions cause I was pregnant too. I spend extra time talking to my belly before bed telling her that even though I moan and grunt I’m still very thankful she’s taking up all that room in there. I also had to spend time reassuring myself that even though I went through infertility it doesn’t mean I have to LIKE things like puking and heart burn and back pain, that that doesn’t make me ungrateful or a bad person.

And on that note… My cousin is pregnant again, who if you’ll recall got pregnant in the spring right before her wedding and I cried in the grocery store after I got off the phone with her when she told me because my third IUI had failed. Then consequently felt super guilty when she had a miscarriage. She had a second miscarriage in the fall but is now pregnant again. I’m hoping this one sticks around, I suspect it will since she had to go to te ER for fluids and nausea meds but she hasn’t made it past the point if the first pregnancy so were all kind of holding our breath right now….