Kills me

The fat little fingers grabbing onto me while she sleep? Kills me.





Typing one handed on my phone, because she’s here. Just a shade earlier than her due date and totally perfect.

Therapeutically speaking, I’ll def need to type up her birth story. But it will be long. It was fairly awful, not in hours or anything straightforward like that but the super short version is: they jacked up my epidural with a wet tap and I also somehow injured my shoulder (cause I was playing basketball during labor???) and we very narrowly escaped at minimum an emergency section or at worst total disaster because of the oopsie-d epidural. My back and shoulder are still not 100% but are slowly improving. I had an awful spinal headache and a bloodpatch. The bloodpatch was horrifically painful AND didn’t fix my headache. I wasn’t able to stand long enough to take a real shower for two weeks. A hot mess in other words. I only started driving in the last week and she’s a little over a month old.

I’m looking forward to finally being able to say “alls well that ends well” but we’re still not quite there yet.

She’s super exhausting but also pretty awesome. A serious appetite. Because of all the delivery complications and also because she spent days more in the hospital without me due to jaundice we’re also struggling with breast feeding. In that I’m pretty much exclusively pumping and trying to talk her into actually nursing. On more than one occasion that’s ended with both of us crying. So I’m sure ill be typing more about that as well in the coming time.