a lil nervous

This morning started with me eying my coffee mug suspiciously, and then grabbing an extra vitamin just in case.

So maybe this entry is a little TMI, but no one is forcing you to be here reading it 😉

All in all since I quit taking birth control pills I’ve been very pleased, all the reasons I had for quitting seem to have resolved themselves. Meaning what I was thinking were side effects of the hormones I’m still thinking were side effects of the hormones. That said, this is the first month that I’m honestly nervous about it.

When I quit, I took Ashley’s suggestion and purchased this book, which was honestly pretty neat. The temperature charting honestly just goes better some months than others. As an experiment once I tried plugging my temperatures into an online version just to see what it said and it threw a fit at all the variation. I blame most of that on rotating shifts and the fact that I’m sorry but I love to sleep in on my days off… Most of the time I can still see a general pattern and have kind of come to accept that my temperatures aren’t as picture perfect as the ones in the book. The first half of my cycle I’m generally 97.3 on average, but it jumps around a lot. Then the second half of the cycle more in the 97.9-98.2 area, with lots of variation mind you. I’ll admit I rely on the fluid as more of a measure a lot of the time.

This month has been kind of strange… my temperature was jumping around a lot, plus I missed a few key days right in the middle while we were down in Florida, plus the fluid hasn’t really seemed to correlate. I had a few days of warmer temperatures in a row, 97.8, when I was expecting them so I thought I was safe but since then my temperature has dropped back down, even as low as 96.9! So I’m all confused now, and now I’m a little nervous that when I thought I was safe based on the temperature I might not have really been safe yet! And who knows, was the 96.9 because I got up at a different time, I was sleeping heavier, or because it was 12 degrees out that day and didn’t have my electric blanket on so I was just cold? Who knows! But then I had a twinge of hip pain for a few hours! I had that string of warm temperatures plus, based on my cycle lengths for the past year I should have been fine. Starting this cycle on Jan 8th it should end Feb 3 or 4th… most of the time I’m 26 or 27 days but my longest cycle in the past year has been 29.

I’m probably nervous about nothing… but I’m still a little nervous…  nervous enough that I didn’t drink any alcohol at the superbowl party last night. I think part of this nervousness comes from having babies on the brain so much lately. I just want one, I can’t help it. I don’t want to lack sleep, parts of the whole thing scare me, but I just want one. Inexplicably. Even more than me Hubbin has been talking about trying this summer and pregnancy. So even though we’re both getting to that point where we would be okay with it… I am a little more anal retentive with the timing than I’d care to admit. I think this summer we’re going to try to conceive in June & July and if it doesn’t work those two months try again next summer. It’s still early enough in the process for us that if it doesn’t happen the first year we try, then hey it’s okay, we’ll just wait till next year because then I’ll be even closer to being done with grad school. Spring time would just be a perfect time for us to have a baby because then right when I’m finishing my 12 weeks off it will be time for Hubbin to go on his 3 month summer vacation. So I guess it’s not nervousness that I could be pregnant but nervousness that I may have screwed up my ideal timing.

So I guess we’ll see… my guess is my period isn’t starting tomorrow because I don’t yet have cramps, and those usually start a good 24hours beforehand. If it hasn’t started by the 4th, my first day back at work this week I am totally stealing a pregnancy test from our lab and taking it first thing. …In fact, I think I’m going to steal a few and bring them home just so the next time I’m nervous like this I can just pee on it an get it over with!

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3 thoughts on “a lil nervous

  1. I’m glad you enjoyed the book. I don’t temp anymore. I just go by my fluids.

    PS: remember that if you were pregnant your temps would remain high.
    PPS: your body is probably adjusting to doing the hormone regulating itself.

  2. I agree, most of the time I pay attention to things other than the temperature, because the rest just seems more accurate (fluids, and I never noticed before but I get a few hours of pretty obvious hip pain)

    I’d agree with you about adjusting, but I quit the birth control pills last March, so my body’s been doing pretty well since then…

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