Would you EVER?!

Much to my dismay I was not at work the other day when we had a patient come in for “abdominal pain” but I’m going to tell you the story anyway because it is PRICELESS.

So she wrote on her check in slip “abdominal pain” but when the nurse went to take her back to her room she told the nurse she didn’t want the nurse intern in there for the interview because she needed to tell her something. She then proceeds to tell the nurse that she’s not really having abdominal pain, she’s there because she’s was having severe chest pain. She was having trouble falling asleep the night before and thought that if she masturbated she would feel better. So she did, and it worked only after she had her orgasm she started having really severe chest pain.

Would you EVER….. EVER… admit that to someone?

How about: “I was climbing a flight of stairs”…. Or let’s try: “I was loading the dishwasher”…. I could think of a thousand excuses to avoid saying “I was masturbating…”

So this poor lady was then admitted to the hospital for her atypical chest pain secondary to masturbation. … and now everyone in the ER has heard about our masturbatory chest pain person.

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2 thoughts on “Would you EVER?!

  1. Uhhh…a little white lie never hurt ANYBODY. (FYI- I didn’t respond to your i-Phone post bc I was too jealous.)

  2. Hahaha! What a goose!
    What a great story!

    You know, I wish I had written down all of the funny things I’ve heard/seen over the years. A nurse could write one heckuva fantastic book!

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