What I Get for Being Cocky

*Sensitive Reader Warning*

I honestly thought there was nothing that could gross me out anymore. Really, to the point of being cocky about it. After 3.5 years of working with straight up Ecoli broth, whole monkey vaginas, our freezer breaking and having rat blood and saline pouring all over the floor. Pulling 10 decaying birds out of the chimney and whatnot.

I ate my words at work this week. We had someone come in with a recurrent abscess on her tail bone. I was volunteered to go in and chaperone the doctor and med student while they drained it and I nearly fainted.

No honestly.

I was watching them jam the enormous syringe around the abscess and then watched them stick the scalpel straight down and then go after it with scissors. Scissors they stuck straight down and then opened inside to widen the drainage and then the copious amounts of white pus pour out. I was listening to her beg for them to hurry and her crying and thinking about how much it hurt to have the same spot cauterized on my own butt.

That’s about when I started feeling hot all over. Then I got dizzy and felt myself start to sweat head to toe over every inch of my body. Then I saw stars… I wisely chose that minute to peel off my gloves, roll up my sleeves and turn my head away to take a few deep breaths. It didn’t help so I stepped away and tried to concentrate on other things in the room. I sat down and tried anything to make myself feel cooler. I was completely adamant about not making an ass of myself and passing out at work. My hands were freezing cold and sweaty so I was trying to hold my fingers on the back of my neck and lower my head towards my knees without making it too obvious. I wonder if I looked ghostly pale, I’m sure I did.

I didn’t pass out, and I managed to look the patient in the eye afterwards and ask her if she wanted me to get her boyfriend from the waiting room. After retrieving him from the waiting room I made a bee line for the bathroom to compose myself… I don’t think anyone else even noticed.

When the head nurse asked me what I thought later I said simply “really gross” and she said “yeah they always are”


One thought on “What I Get for Being Cocky

  1. I love stuff with pus! It is so satisfying to be part of a good I&D!
    Maybe if I had recent memory of someone cutting on a delicate part of my body, like you have, I wouldn’t think that is cool at all.
    I do know that feeling you described though – back when I was still doing the occasional labor and delivery, I had to turn my head when the docs would perform the episiotomy. They always made it look like they had to struggle to cut through it – like it is made of rope of something. (Woozy, just thinking about it.)
    Happy New Year, SSFB!

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