Last night after I went to the gym I stopped at the store to buy a card. I spent a long time looking… Hallmark doesn’t make a “waiting for someone to die” line of cards.
I have a friend that I’m not really close with, she’s more of a friend-in-law. I’m friends with her because she’s friends with my friends, but we’ve never hung out when it’s just us. Her step-mother is dying. She’s been battling breast cancer for a few years on and off and started hospice care about 6 months ago. I got an email from one of my other friends that it’s down to the 1-2 week range of time left now. I went out and bought a really nice sympathy card a week or so ago to send after her stepmother dies.
Then I got an email earlier this week from one of my friends instructing all recipients that we should call this girl. Maybe it makes me a bad person but I just don’t think it’s right to send out an email like that… I don’t know that I’ve ever called this girl to talk the whole time I’ve known her so I feel like now would not really be an appropriate time to start.
I talked it over with Hubbin, who suggested we send her a “‘Thinking of you” style card with a gift certificate to a nearby restaurant. Have you ever spent time looking for a card that can fall into the “Waiting for someone to die” category? There are plenty of options if the reciepient happens to be religious, if they’re not religious then you’re screwed. I never realized how many “Thinking of you” cards are along the lines of “Hang in there, things will get better”…. No, they won’t. Well, they will, but not before they get worse.
After 15 minutes of looking at cards I finally found a card with a pretty asian flower design on the front that just said a simple “Thinking of you” inside. I decided I was better off writing my own message. I told her we knew how hard this is (if you recall we spent 9 days in January waiting for my father-in-law to pass away after taking him off life support)… and that we just wanted her to know we were thinking of her and her whole family often. We were sending a gift card so that one night they could take a break and have just one less thing to think about, or even if she wanted to pick up desserts for the rest of her family.
In another heartbreaking turn of events. My father’s very best childhood friend lost both of his parents this month. His father died on the 9th after a devastaing car crash. He lived to the hospital but they decided it was in his best interest to take him off life support. While my father’s friend and friend’s brother were in town to help arrange the funeral they noticed their mother was very ill. Apparently she’d been having severe diarrhea and had told no one. They admitted her with C Diff. While they were doing an all-over exam they found she had a tumor taking up most of the room in her pelvis. She went into kidney failure while in the hospital and died less than two weeks after her husband.