You Can’t Handle the Truth

We’ve started watching the first season of Grey’s Anatomy on DVD. In the second episode the main character gets temporary custody of a penis and is required to carry it around in a cooler all day. One of the other new doctors asks her what’s in the cooler and she replies “you really don’t want to know” he of course insists and then is totally grossed out when she answers.

I play the same game when people ask me what I do. I skirt around the issue, trying to give them as many vague answers as possible to satisfy them before I have to bring out the big guns. Some people are satisfied with “I work in a lab”, some people cut off at “medical research”. The vast majority of people have no interest and will hold their hands up in surrender after I mention the phrase “gynecological disease”. You have permission to stop reading this entry now.

That’s right. I work with vaginas. I’m not a gynecologist and I am not involved in any sort of adult entertainment. I work in a lab that studies vaginas. And no, the answer to your next question is they are not attached to a person. I study pieces of vagina. We’re researching Pelvic Prolapse and you can go ahead and google it just like I did before I came to my interview for this job…. Yes, that’s right, it can fall out. I’ll give you a minute to collect your jaw off the floor before I continue…

It’s a disease that effects mostly menopausal women and no one knows why. We are studying how changes in hormone levels affect the integrity of the pelvic floor, which holds all those lovely organs in place where we like them.

And no, I don’t think it’s gross, I am as far as I can tell, totally immune to the grossness now. I can calmly eat my dinner while watching surgery shows on television and I am fully capable of discussing just about anything over dinner. One of the (many, many) reasons I married my husband is because on our first date (a blind date) he inquired about all the details of my job while eating and not only kept asking me more questions but was actually interested in hearing about our efforts to Save The Vagina over our tasty meal of Chinese food.

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3 thoughts on “You Can’t Handle the Truth

  1. Greetings from a fellow worker with vaginas — only I work with the real ones attached to the rest of the body.

    You had posted on my blog about wanting to know how to change your banner at the top of your blog. Email me at lilyofvalley23 (at) aol (dot) com.

  2. Pingback: We’re done. Totally. « Dreaming of Sleep

  3. Pingback: Quite possibly the most disgusting entry I’ve ever written « Braindrops

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