June 29th

So we did at long last arrive home on June 29th, by several miracles.  Please dear readers give me your best estimates of exactly how long you think this process takes:

1. Deplaning from an international flight behind 50 exchange students from row 40.
2. Walking 0.25 miles to customs at JFK
3. Waiting in line at customs
4. Claiming your checked baggage
5. Handing over your passports for verification on the way out of customs
6. Rechecking your bags for your connecting flight
7. Waiting in line for elevators which are apparently the only option connecting the international terminal to the regular terminals
8. Going through airport security complete with shoe removal and husband setting off metal detector with his belt buckle
9. Running 1 mile (and I do mean run) to gate 31

Any guesses?

Hubbin and I completed all the the above tasks in the record time of 1 hour and 10 minutes arriving at gate 31 just in time to take three deep breaths and walk onto our plane home… which then sat for 4 hours (FOUR FULL HOURS) on the runways due to weather followed by a “mechanical issue” requiring us to head back for repairs and then refueling. Our plane was complete with an out of order sink and bathroom door that you couldn’t close because there was no way to unlock it. Nice

However everyone’s day was saved by the flight attendant who informed us during take off that as soon as we reached cruising altitude he would pass out the cashews reserved for 1st class to the whole plane and that “everything in his galley was ours, including all the wine and liquor”. SO I had my very first drink of our entire honeymoon (explanation to follow) on the flight home 30 minutes from landing. Let me tell you, after not eating for 8 hours the glass of wine went STRAIGHT to my head and I then had the most wonderful flight experience of my entire life. I will also tell you that Chardonnay and turbulence go VERY WELL together. Because my foggy brain recorded one of the most turbulent flights I’ve ever sat through. (Turbulent enough that I remember thinking “if I know I’m going to die some day, I need to remember to bring wine”) I’m seriously considering paying whatever premium it is normally and having wine on every flight from now on.

We did make it safe with every piece of luggage, and took a dinner break at my parents house with Hubbin’s mom in attendance to hang out souvenirs. We finally rolled into our driveway just before midnight which taking the time change into account is 24 full hours commuting and 17 hours with our butts in plane seats.

We had an amazingly wonderful time, but we’re very glad to be home.